


Emotions and Stuff

by DarbyDoo22



Category: Love Simon (2018), Simonverse | Creekwood Series - Becky Albertalli
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Martin Addison (Creekwood), Coming Out, M/M, Nick finds the emails, Simon has good friends, Supportive Garrett Laughlin, supportive Nick Eisner
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-29
Updated: 2020-11-05
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:40:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27269602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarbyDoo22/pseuds/DarbyDoo22
Summary: Of all the people that could have possibly logged on to a school library computer after Simon, Nick was actually relieved that it was him. He didn’t want to think about what could have happened if someone else had seen Simon’s emails.OrNick finds the emails instead of Martin.
Relationships: Bram Greenfeld/Simon Spier, Nick Eisner & Simon Spier
Comments: 24
Kudos: 151





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Not really sure where this came from, but here’s this! I’ve seen a few fic where Garrett or someone other than Martin finds the emails, not sure if I’ve seen any about Nick? 
> 
> Anyways, let me know what you think!

Nick sat down at the computer in the library and brought up the page for gmail. He needed to get the essay for English class printed ASAP. 

He opened the inbox, looking for the email with the essay attachment that he had sent himself, only to realize he was on Simon’s account. None of it looked like school work, though, he noticed from the subject lines. 

‘Oreos are better than sex’. That definitely was not school related or school appropriate, he thought with a frown. Who the hell was Simon emailing? 

Nick quickly scrolled through the inbox folder and saw that all of the emails were from the same address. Bluegreen118@gmail.com. 

The email address gave nothing away. So despite the rush he was in, and the minor invasion of his friend’s privacy, Nick opened one of the emails. 

He regretted his decision instantly. The email, subject line ‘when did you know?’ was about when Simon, and the guy he was emailing, had known they were gay. Simon was gay. 

Oh my god Nick was the worst person in the world for invading his friend’s privacy like this. For going through Simon’s personal stuff, and figuring out he was gay before Simon was ready to tell him. Then another thought hit him like a ton of bricks. 

What if Nick hadn’t been the one to find this? What if someone else had? A huge sense of dread washed over him at the thought of what someone might do with this information. 

He needed to talk to Simon. If only to convince him to stop using the school computers for his personal email. 

Nick logged out of Simon’s account and logged into his own. He quickly printed off the essay and made his way to Mr. Wise’s class. 

Instead of his usual spot next to Abby, Nick sat next to Simon. That got him a weird look from both Simon and Abby. Leah just rolled her eyes and sat in his usual spot. 

“Do you have play practice after school?” Nick whispered. Simon shook his head. 

“Can we talk after school then? Just the two of us?” Nick whispered. This time Simon hesitated a few seconds before nodding. 

“No Leah?” Simon whispered as Mr. Wise walked in. Nick shook his head. 

“You know how bad she is with emotions and stuff” Nick told him. He saw Simon cough to cover a laugh as the class began. 

Nick has been acting weird for the last few hours. Simon noticed, so it must have been painfully obvious for everyone else. 

And then Nick had asked if they could talk, just the two of them. Simon has agreed, mostly because Leah hated talking about feelings and emotions. But it wasn’t something he and Nick talked about either. 

It was all he could think about for the rest of the day. The almost impending doom of a serious conversation with Nick, who had never been serious in his life.

By the time the final bell rang, Simon was so nervous, he almost jumped out of his seat. He did his best not to run to his car, but he wanted to know what the hell this was about. 

Nick was waiting for him next to the car. None of the usual, excited energy that Simon associated with Nick seemed to be present. Instead, he seemed, not sad, but sullen? Simon wasn’t sure how else to describe it.

“What’s going on?” Simon asked, when he finally got to Nick’s side. Nick shook his head. 

“This isn’t exactly a conversation for school property” Nick told him. Simon rolled his eyes, but unlocked the car and moved to get in. 

As much as he hated having to wait even longer, he could understand not wanting people to hear whatever this was. Whatever Nick’s secret, Simon absolutely understood the need for privacy in a town like Shady Creek. 

“Your house or mine?” Simon asked, as he pulled out of the parking spot. He looked over briefly at Nick who seemed to consider it for longer than Simon had expected. 

“My parents aren’t home, so mine I guess?” Nick told him. That made Simon even more nervous, but he nodded and drove to Nick’s.

Once inside, the two of them made their way to the basement. Simon sat down in one of the beanbag chairs, and watched Nick to do the same. The comfortable, familiar feeling was not enough to alleviate any of his nerves. 

“What did you want to talk about?” Simon asked after a few minutes of awkward silence passed. He watched Nick take a deep breath before finally speaking. 

“Before anything else, I wanted to say I’m sorry” Nick started. That did absolutely nothing for Simon’s nerves, but he nodded anyways, and let Nick continue. 

“I um.... went to print off my essay for English today but the computer in the library was logged in to your email” Nick said. 

Nick looked like he was going to continue, but Simon already knew what he had found. His emails to Blue. Oh god, Simon didn’t know what to do. 

He definitely wasn’t ready to be out. He wasn’t sure if he was ready to talk about whatever he had with Blue. Wasn’t sure if he was ready for this to all become real. 

Simon didn’t realize he was shaking until Nick put a hand on his shoulder to steady him. 

“Shit, man, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you or anything. I just wanted you to know that I’m here for you. If you wanted to talk about it.... or whatever” Nick said. Simon was staring at Nick now, as if he couldn’t believe what his friend had just said. Because he kind of couldn’t. 

“You..... you’re ok with this? With me being.... gay?” He asked. Simon tried not to think about the fact that this was the first time he had said that out loud. 

“You’re my best friend Simon, nothing could ever change that” Nick said. He was smiling at Simon as he patted his shoulder reassuringly. 

“So..... do you want to talk about it? Not just the gay part, but the guy you’re talking to?” Nick asked. Simon smiled back and proceeded to tell Nick everything about Blue, the random other gay kid at school that he had been talking to for the past few months. 

He told Nick about the CreekSecrets post he had replied to. About the emails they had sent after that. Nick seemed to hang on to every detail. 

By the end, Nick looked far less excited than Simon expected him to. It made Simon wonder if he’s gone too far. Nick said he was okay with Simon being gay. But was it too much that Simon might actively like another guy?

“Did I say something wrong?” Simon asked, before he could think himself into a further panic. 

“No! Not at all! I just.... I think I might know who Blue is” Nick admitted.

“Do you want to know?” Nick asked. Simon immediately shook his head. He did not want to know who it was. Not until Blue was ready to tell him, but also, 

“I had like, one theory on who it could be, but I was so, so wrong. I don’t want to get my hopes up and have my heart broken if I’m wrong again” Simon told him. 

Nick nodded and gave him a sympathetic smiles. 

“Who did you think it was?” Nick asked, and Simon probably should have expected that question. 

Nick was looking at him expectantly, and Simon blushed. Only after Nick promised not to laugh did Simon actually tell him. 

“I thought it was Bram, from our lunch table. But I walked in on him making out with a girl at the Halloween party” Simon told him. 

Nick was smiling far too brightly at the admission, Simon thought. Shouldn’t he be.... sad for Simon? Weird about Simon thinking someone from the soccer team and their lunch table, was gay? 

“Bram told us he was really drunk that night and made out with someone that was not ‘his type’” Nick said, making air quotes when he said the words ‘his type’. 

Simon shook his head. That could mean anything. Not his type could have meant the fact that the girl had been dressed as a minion for all Simon knew. 

“If it helps.... I also thought it was Bram” Nick added. And yes, that did help. 

Well, helped get Simon’s hopes up again. Simon had been doing everything he could not to think about Bram. Not to think about anyone that Blue could be. 

Simon was in love with Blue, who he thought had been Bram, the guy he’d had a bit of a crush on for years. And now Nick was telling him it could still be Bram. That he even thought it was Bram. 

Simon needed to know if it was Bram before he got his heart broken again. Completely ignoring Nick, he grabbed his phone and began to type an email.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is now complete for real! Sorry that it’s mostly dialogue, I hate writing phone calls for this reason! Let me know what you think!

To: bluegreen118@gmail.com

From: hourtohour.notetonote@gmail.com

Subject: Identities 

Dear Blue,

Please don’t freak out, but I think I know who you are. I think I’ve known for a while. I was one hundred percent sure I knew before Halloween, but at a Halloween party, I walked in on who I think you are, making out with a girl dressed as a minion. Seriously, a minion? 

That’s besides the point though. It threw me off, because I was so sure it was you, but there you were, with a girl. It felt like a slap in the face to think that I was so wrong. It was also kind of heartbreaking, you know? To see the person I thought I was falling in love with, with someone else. 

But new information, from a mutual friend, has come up. Apparently you told him you were drunk and made out with someone ‘not your type’. I seriously hope that that meant the girl part, not the fact that she was dressed as such an overhyped, bad character. 

But if you didn’t get drunk and make out with someone in such a horrible costume, I’m so so sorry for actually guessing wrong. Ever since the Halloween party I’ve been trying to stop myself from guessing, but with what my friend said, I kinda just needed to know. 

Either way, please don’t be mad or scared and please, please don’t disappear on me. 

Love, 

Jacques

Bram read the email over and over. There was no way it could be about anyone but him. That also meant that Jacques couldn’t be anyone but Simon, who had walked in on Bram making out with some girl dressed as a minion. 

Bram had been drunk but remembered Simon apologizing because he was looking for the washroom. That had made no sense to Bram at the time because Simon had looked so sad. Defeated, almost. 

Bram had chalked it up to being drunk, projecting his hope that Simon was Jacques and had tried to forget about it. But Jacques knew who he was. Simon knew who he was. 

The thought scared him so much that he called Garrett. 

“Yo, what’s up?” Garrett asked. It was so casual and relaxed. It was such a sharp contrast to how Bram felt. 

“Can you come over? P-please?” Bram hated how weak he sounded. Hated how his voice cracked. 

“Shit, yeah. You’re at home, right? I’ll be there in ten” Garrett told him before hanging up. 

It was at least a fifteen minute drive from Garrett’s house to Bram’s, but as promised, he was there in under ten. The two of them made their way up the stairs to Bram’s bedroom in silence. 

Bram sat down on on his bed, cross legged, and Garrett sat next to him. The silence continued for what felt like forever, but could have only been a few minutes. 

“Want to tell me what happened?” Garrett asked softly. He wasn’t prying, or trying to make Bram talk. It was an offer, a suggestion. 

Bram knew that he could say no and Garrett would let it go. But he wanted, needed to talk about it. 

“Jacques knows who I am. I know who he is” Bram said. 

He wasn’t sure what he expected Garrett’s reaction to be, but he was more than a little surprised when Garrett tackled him and hugged him. 

“That’s so awesome, man! I’m so happy for you!” Garrett said as he finally got off of Bram. 

“This is a good thing, right?” Garrett asked eventually, when Bram still hadn’t said anything. 

Bram wasn’t sure what to say. It was good, great even, that the boy he’d been falling in love with over email was the same boy he’d had a crush on since starting at CreekWood. But it was scary, too. 

“I just.... What if Simon doesn’t want it to be me? What if I’m not what he was expecting?” Bram wondered. He saw Garrett‘s eyes widen almost comically, and cringed when he realized he had said that out loud. 

“Bram, Jacques was pretty clear about his feelings for Blue. And I know you probably never noticed, but Simon liked you as Bram even before the emails started. Every time you looked at him, because yes, I saw you looking, he would look away and blush” Garrett told him. Now Bram was the one blushing and looking away. 

“Just like that!” Garrett exclaimed. It only made Bram blush even more. 

“You know, there’s one way to know for sure how Spier feels”Garrett said. He stood up and grabbed something off of Bram’s desk. Bram’s phone, he noticed. 

“What are you doing?” Bram asked. Garrett was typing something on his phone, and before he could do anything about it, Bram heard the familiar sound of his phone dialling. 

Garrett kept Bram’s phone in his hand, but put it on speaker so they could both hear it. Bram held his breath as it rang. Whoever Garrett had called let it ring, and ring and ring. 

It went on for so long that Bram was sure it would go to voicemail. It sounded like it was just about to when;

“Hello?” Nick said. Bram was confused. That was Garrett’s big plan? Call Nick?

“Well hello, Nicholas. Why would you be answering Simon’s phone?” Garrett asked. 

Bram didn’t know Nick as well as he knew Garrett, but he could practically hear him rolling his eyes. 

“Probably for the same reason that you’re calling him from Bram’s phone” Nick answered, and something clicked in Bram’s mind. 

“You’re the mutual friend that told Simon I was drunk at the party, right?” Bram asked. He’d told Garrett about it during soccer practice, but Bram had forgotten that Nick had been there too. 

“So it is you. Good. Well Bram, I just have to say, I like you, man. But if you hurt Simon....” Nick trailed off. Bram heard Simon in the background mumble an ‘oh my god, Nick give me my phone’. 

He heard some shuffling, a sound he could only assume was Nick grunting in pain, and a lot of swearing before Simon finally seemed to get his phone back. 

“Sorry about Nick, he’s just worrying for nothing” Simon apologized. 

Bram felt his heart start to break into a million little pieces at that statement before Simon continued. 

“Not because nothing is going on! I just know that you would never do anything to hurt me” Simon explained. Bram let out a deep breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. 

“Jesus Spier, don’t scare Bram like that!” Garrett said, and for a second, Bram had sort of forgotten he was there. 

“Garrett, can you give Bram his phone? I do want to talk to him, but I know you’re probably the one that called me” Simon said. Garrett laughed and held out the phone for Bram as instructed. 

Bram grabbed his phone and took it off of speaker before holding it up to his ear.

“Hello?” Bram said, barely louder than a whisper. Bram heard Simon take a deep breath before answering. 

“Is it really you? Are you.....” Simon trailed off. He sounded so scared, so uncertain. 

“Yeah. It’s me, I’m Blue. Are you disappointed?” Bram had to ask. He ignored the reassuring smile and thumbs up that Garrett was giving him. 

“Disappointed?” Simon asked, almost incredulously.

“Bram, I couldn’t be happier” Simon said. Bram felt himself start to tear up at that. Simon was okay with Bram being Blue. Simon was okay with Bram. 

“So where does that leave us?” Simon asked. Bram had been wondering the same thing. 

“I’m all in if you are” Bram told him. He jumped when Garrett yelled out an excited ‘yes!’ at his declaration. Simon must have heard it too, because he laughed. 

“So, boyfriends?” Simon asked. 

“Boyfriends” Bram agreed. He wanted to say more, but Garrett interrupted him.

“Fuck yes! Get it Bram!” Garrett yelled excitedly. He was standing up on Bram’s bed dancing excitedly, and Bram couldn’t stop himself from laughing. 

“Do you want to ditch Garrett and Nick and go on a date?” Simon asked. Bram had never wanted anything more in his life.


End file.
